Review - Spartacus: Gods of the Arena Part 6 The Bitter End

Since Spartacus: Gods of the Arena can't end on a cliffhanger because it leads into the first season, I guess there's a structural reason why "The Bitter End" was the worst episode of the miniseries. Personally, the fights have never been that interesting; heads get cut off, limbs are severed, blood flies everywhere, but it's all the same. What makes Spartacus interesting is the plot, and the episode dispenses with that quickly, the main battle between Quintus and Tulius resolved in the first half of the episode.

There are flecks of Spartacus we like--Solonius turning on Quintus, Gannicus winning his freedom--but overall,  second half is pretty much a snoozefest. There's little plot or intrigue and most of it is a huge, silly fight which ends with Gannicus winning and a jaw literally ripped apart. What's disappointing about the fight is that the writers never slow the action in favor of real tension which could have made us believe or even consider that something horrible may happen. The miniseries ends with Quintus delivering a grand speech about how high he'll rise, before the writers take out a 100-foot tall, blinking neon sign declaring, "This is IRONIC," with the shot of Quintus and Lucretia dead.

Score: 8.0/10

Preview of Week 2/20/11 - 2/26/11

Royal Pains - USA, Thursday, February 24, 9:00pm ET

With Hank and Evan tossed out of Boris's house and Divya spilling the secret of kissing a patient, the Royal Pains season finale is sure to be interesting.

Supernatural - CW, Friday, February 25, 9:00pm ET

Sam and Dean become Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Too meta? Nah.

Spartacus: Gods of the Arena - Starz, Friday, February 25, 10pm ET

The finale of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena will probably involve lots of blood... just a guess.

Review - Spartacus: Gods of the Arena Part 5 Reckoning

At some point, everyone knew all hell would break loose. This is Spartacus, after all, which actually became a somewhat respectable show down the stretch with twist after twist. For "Spartacus: Gods of the Arena," that episode is "Reckoning."

Following Gaia's death, the house is in ludus, with Titus kicking Quintus and Lucretia out, Gannicus prepared to be sold,  Ashur being conniving bastard, and Naevia freeing Diona. The unrest in the house is stretched out through the episode, and we know something bad will happen.

It all comes to a head in a bloody final scene, which isn't as effective as previous murders of the series, but is still potent. Without knowing the writers' intent, this was my thought process: At first, I thought Tullius had poisoned the wine once Titus started talking. Then when Melitta took the wine, I wondered to myself whether she would drink it. Lucretia admitting to poisoning the wine came as a shock, but Melitta's death wasn't that shocking since I was thinking about it in the back of my mind.

Still, the finale next week looks like be bloody fun. Will Gannicus survive so we may see him in the second season?

Score: 8.8/10

Review - Spartacus: Gods of the Arena Part 3 Paterfamilias

While Spartacus: Gods of the Arena has focused on Gannicus thus far, "Paterfamilias" is centered on Crixus. The miniseries has several roles, the most important being to show how Crixus rises to the top since that's where he is at the beginning of the series. After winning against Auctus, Crixus is one step closer to the top. At the same time, Batiatus is able to mend his relationship with his father, and will ride the wave to more gladiatorial glory.

The subplots of the episode go back to that grimy sexual stuff which is crude and blunt: the lower-class is treated like shit. After last week's ordeal, Gannicus can't hide is unease, and Oenomaus is sure to find out soon.

Score: 8.8/10

Review - Spartacus: Gods of the Arena Part 2 Missio

The thing that drives Spartacus is the knowledge of impending doom. Maybe nothing too horrible has happened yet (relatively speaking), but we know something is coming. In "Missio," Gannicus is forced to have sex with Melitta and they're clearly pained by the act. Coming after the scene in which Gannicus, Melitta, and Oenomaus are shown to be very close, you can only imagine what will happen next. Meanwhile, Batiatus, who doesn't care about what happens to the gladiators or how they are used, revels in Gannicus's future participation in the primus by having a threesome.

Aside from the main sordid mess, "Missio" doesn't have anything new. Gaia is still a proto-Ilithyia, we've already seen Batiatus put hits on people in the street, and we've already seen powerful people force Batiatus's gladiators to fight with real weapons. The end if coming near, however, with only 6 parts, so things should heat up soon.

Score: 8.8/10

Review - Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season 1 Episode 2 Sacramentum Gladiatorum

Grudgingly, I watched the second episode and it was crap. Without most of the episode being action scenes, the show slows to a drag with terrible dialogue and an even worse story.

Now I understand why Tim Goodman was hating on it so much.

Score: 5.0/10

Review - Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season 1 Episode 1 The Red Serpent

For all the scathing reviews of Spartacus, it actually isn't half bad considering the intent and audience it blatantly panders to. If you liked HBO's defunct Rome, I'm guessing you won't like Spartacus, but if you liked 300, it will be perfect.

There's hardly any story, the fighting is ultra-violent, and there's lots of sex. The sex part isn't too bad and is about the same as Rome. Obviously the show is on premium cable and not for kids, so it could have been much worse. The fighting is ridiculous and unrealistic like in 300. There are slowmos when someone is killed, blood flies out in heavy amounts and distances, and limbs are literally chopped off. The number of people that indulge in that kind of stuff will watch the show and that's all Starz is looking for.

My biggest problem was heavily stylized scenes which was about half the first episode. From the sex scenes to the fight scenes, there was a canned feel. The background had to be the setting sun, the music was either really heavy or an ethereal theme, and the characters have absolutely nothing original about them. Rome did a great job not sensationalizing everything, leaving fight scenes relatively normal, sex scenes not over-dramatized, and had decent dialogue and story. Spartacus does none of that and tells the audience what they should pay attention to--sex scenes and fight scenes. Everything else is auxiliary.

Once Dollhouse ends next week, I'll have nothing to watch on Fridays until Stargate Universe comes back except for Caprica. Since that's the case, I may watch to see if there is a real story and if the whole show in general is toned down.

Score: 8.0/10